Saturday, June 25, 2016

A Mantra, A Stain

Most of this content is related to the self but there is a deep seeded need to share more than the sounds, art, films and ridiculous dramas of the I.   The ongoing barbarism, lack of love, logic and abject horrors filling each day are unspeakable.  Yet we must speak, otherwise we are guilty as people.  How can you solve the need of an entire planet?  This question keeps me up at night and more often than not reduces me to writing about the pylorus gunk nestling deep in my own narcissism.  We deal in the micro because we cannot fathom the mechanics of the Macro.

I want, as always, to change that.  The shameful thing is that I started this blog to impress a boy and prove to myself that I had the ability to write and had something to say... about music, art, snark. That's done, so now what?  My own words and phrasing I've found plastered along the blogosphere, Pinterest and BlogLovin; plagiarized, if there is such a thing in a world of "free literature" in the form of get happy quick "memes" or things that young people use to further their whatever.

It's kind of funny, when I first began this blog journey, the idea of sharing intimate personal words, thoughts, information and feelings was utterly abhorrent.  The slightest act of divulging into anything resembling intimate left me feeling so raw, I often deleted or edited everything to a mystical and nebulous platform.  That's obviously changed.

It's funny, I pick up followers and lose them along the way.  Often wondering who actually reads this space anymore in a sea of blogs that deal largely with food, fashion and goth knows what else.  Are blogs even a thing anymore if they're monetized?

Having started this endeavor so many years ago, it's hard to walk away.  Like a person, you don't just magically change who you are and reinvent yourself... well, you can of course!  But I rather  like the idea of watching the process happen.  Perhaps, you'll stick around and see how CTST morphs in the future and perhaps you won't.  All I can promise you now is that it will  always be honest, no matter what. 

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