Wednesday, December 30, 2015

Intrinsic Reunion

Feelings; we can't contain them.  Dammit, they fill us.  Submerge our lungs in gigantica and fly around us like stupid midges; bothering our more productive lives.

Effervescent tingles; orbs of hope tickling every memory; without touching; it's absolute heaven.

He lifts me to bubbly heights; his brief hands on my chest, his excited eyes about his latest find, and joyful loveliness...  So beautiful.

The problem with champagne is the hangover it brings; i.e. the heartache that his interactions mean.  Being with him feels like basking in the sun, only to be abruptly moved into the shadows.  His gorgeous crystalline light is what it is; fleeting like a moody climate.  So fucking dramatic but I swear, if you met him, you'd agree.  He has that effect on everyone, no lie.

Bright eyes, beautiful smile, wicked intelligence. 

Much to his chagrin and or ego, the world loves him and often worships him.  And why would they not?  He gives everything while shining love and gentleness like the sun with that radiant smile.  But they don't know him, not like I do. His untoward secrets and everything he hides behind that lovely mask.  It's the tiddly-widdly parts of him that I love most. The parts he's shared with no one; the parts I'm privy to.

Dammit.  I'm afraid I can never cherish anyone else the same way.

You came out of nowhere
Stealing my heart and brain
Flaming my every cell
You make me feel myself

Across the time and space
A never-ending dance
A blooming and a trance

You make me feel my soul
There's no more loneliness
Only sparkles and sweat
There's no more single fate
You make me feel myself

Monday, December 28, 2015

Uncertain Grind

Oh.. things are getting really weird here in this nest.  *whimpers*

I've been enjoying an awesome cover of Hall & Oates Maneater on my satellite radio by Jana Hunter of Lower Dens that is so fucking awesome, I can't stand it.

The back up vocals mixed with Houston's Jana's breathy voice send shivers down into my nether regions. *bites everything and everyone*

Thursday, December 17, 2015

And Here We Are

Another holiday season.   It's not something I enjoy, and in fact, find it pretty gruesome.  Fairly certain there are numerous cantankerous and whiny blog posts about this on thee ole Crank The Shiny Tune but after a little cry session with my friend tonight, I figured out a way to deal.

I'm ok.. As long as we don't talk about the actual fucking day or anything to do with it.  Not a word.  Nothing about Norman Rockwell, decorations, traditions, white elephants, baking or whatever.  I'm serious, not a fucking word.  Ugh, so dramatic.

At any rate...bind yourself; and noooo festive talk.  There's only one thing to do when you realize you're walking through a desert.  Time to ration water, folks.

The Mary Onettes // Explosions // The Mary Onettes //

Images: Kock Magazine 
I will miss trees, ornaments, caroling and dirty hot chocolate though..   Just saying.

Friday, December 11, 2015

We're More Than Horses

The Unicorns // I Was Born A Unicorn // Unicorns Are People Too //  2003

 I love you and hate equally... Uggggh... this feeling is amazing.

Wednesday, December 9, 2015


This band is amazing.... eat it up because your life will be better because of them.

Tuesday, December 8, 2015

Life's a Gas

My boss let me go early yesterday but not without some choice bits of "advice".  Whatever... longer vacation for me.

Saturday, December 5, 2015

Dealing With Fools

I turned in my notice today at my job.  It took several months, hours and just as many edits to send an elongated and thoughtful message to the powers that be today.  Of course they overlooked the heart-felt sentiment I submitted and accused me of planning my departure for ages,  wanting to know how long I've been contemplating my subterfuge.

Why am I still surprised and why do I even care?? Guess what?  The future starts now.

Alan Parsons Project // Eye In The Sky // Eye In The Sky // 1982

I am the eye in the sky
Looking at you
I can read your mind
I am the maker of rules
Dealing with fools 

I can cheat you blind
And I don't need to see any more
To know that I can read your mind, I can read your mind

Don't leave false illusions behind
Don't cry 'cause I ain't changing my mind
So find another fool like before
'Cause I ain't gonna live anymore believing
Some of the lies while all of the signs are deceiving

I thought I would feel happy about today but I hate making anyone upset... so I'm stuck feeling both elated and gross.  Cursed.

Wednesday, December 2, 2015

Coming Up For Air

Too much deep sea diving can really fuck with the mind... the bends and all that.  Time for a little frothy airy heaven.

This album is my new favorite.  Intelligent, unassuming, peaceful, dreamy gaze... lovely sounds wash over everything.  The perfect companion for a pretty stellar day.

Resplandor // Pleamar // 2008

Tuesday, December 1, 2015

The Relay

It's been on my mind lately, the relay.  One heartbreak becomes another which gives birth to yet another.  Do you know what I mean?  That which we once experienced becomes that which someone else in our future experiences.  Terrible laughable irony... I'm sure the French or the Russians have a phrase for this.  At any rate, in my own bumbling language... that which was becomes that which is and likely will become that which will be tomorrow   Unbearable unfinished business.

Laughing wryly.... the state we live in; this existence we call home.

Just give me a second darling, to clear my head
Just put down those scissors baby
On this single bed
The sand in the hour glass is running low
I came through thunder, the cold, wind, the rain and the snow
To find you awake by your window sill
A sight for sore eyes, and a view to kill

I broke down in horror at you standing there
The glow from the moon shone through cracks in your hair
I shouted with passion "I love you so much"
But feeling my skin, it was cold to the touch
You whispered "where are you?"
I questioned your doubt
But soon realized you were talking to God now

You've got blood on your hands
And I know it's mine
I just need more time
So get off your low, let's dance like we used to!
But there's a light in the distance, waiting for me
I will wait for you
So get off your low, let's kiss like we used to

I looked in the mirror, but something was wrong
I saw you behind, but my reflection was gone
There was smoke in the fireplace as white as the snow
A voice beckoned gently "now it's time to go"
A requiem played, as you begged for forgiveness
"Don't touch me!" I screamed
I've got unfinished business

White Lies // Unfinished Business // To Lose My Life // 2009

This whole album brings layers of feels.    

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...