This week and Monty Python's Black Knight have a lot in common. "Come back, I'll bite your legs off!"
So after two sleepless nights in a row, I'm gorging on my forbidden love and kryptonite for the second time in nine months. Iced coffee, that is. Look out Friday, trouble's coming and by trouble I mean me. Taking bets on when the crash occurs.
Until then... good feels for all.
ELO // Shine a Little Love // Discovery // 1979
I'm going crazy
Majical Cloudz // Downtown // Are You Alone? // October 2015
A rare photo of my actual life. Feast your eyes on some weird awkward poetry I made on my friend's fridge and that she actually kept. These phrases crack me up and I forgot about them until I saw them the other day. Today is a day dedicated to basic retro vagina music. Woman flowers, easy sausages and walking in fire. Listen in order.
Fiona Apple // Criminal // Tidal // 1996
Heaven help me
For the way I am
Save me from
These evil deeds
Before I get them done
I know tomorrow brings
The consequence at hand
But I keep living this day like
The next will never come
K's Choice // Not an Addict // Paradise in Me // 1996
The deeper you stick it in your vein
The deeper the thoughts, there's no more pain
I'm in heaven, I'm a god
I'm everywhere, I feel so hot
It's not a habit, it's cool, I feel alive
If you don't have it you're on the other side
I'm not an addict (maybe that's a lie)
It's over now, I'm cold, alone
I'm just a person on my own
Nothing means a thing to me
This version melts me because of the very subtle difference in lyrics (below). They morph the song in a very powerful and serpentine way. Patti Smith's version is soul shattering, because she's just a phenomenal human being and because she brings a tender, strong yet controlled passion to the Wild Call. You listen to it enough and you're undone. Natalie Merchant's version, with her characteristic warble, shifts the tone to one of uncertainty and beckons you further into something darker, more sinister. The whole dynamic changes. Listen to them both and see if you agree.
10,000 Maniacs // Because the Night // Bruce Springsteen & Patti Smith // 1978 by way of MTV Unplugged 1993
Take me now baby here as I am Pull me close, try and understand Desire is hunger is the fire I breathe Love is a banquet on which we feed Come on now try and understand The way I feel under your command (Patti's version "when I'm in your hands") Take my hand come undercover They can't hurt you now With love we sleep, with doubt the vicious circle turns, and burns Without you, I cannot live, forgive the yearning burning I believe it's hard, too real to feel, take me now (original version "touch me now")
I'm in utter awe I've never openly posted about M83 and The
Jesus and Mary Chain. Totally idiotic since I've loved them
ridiculously close for far too long. Closer than any lover. What I'm
discovering is that with this blog, with life; I hold things/songs/bands/ close to me, afraid to share.
Holding things close, like secrets, is bullshit. That ends now.
And I am flying
M83 // Run Into Flowers // Dead Cities, Red Seas & Lost Ghosts // 2003
Over there, and I want true love to grow
My Bloody Valentine // Sometimes // Loveless // 1991
I would shed my skin for you
The Jesus and Mary Chain // Happy When it Rains // Darklands // 1987
Misanthropy is real and with that in mind, I'm not winning any friends this week. But before all that, take a listen to the most beautiful track below. Everything Martin and Victoria of Gliss (bandcamp) create is perfection. Here, here and here
as well as their website plus many other instances on various soundtrack platforms on the interwebs as well as all those glorious analog fossils I've created that are floating around. Did I mention how much I LOVE LOVE LOVE them?? Get used to it. Your life is better with them.
This latest
solo track from the lovely Victoria is no exception and her video for her single Thieves of Love for her solo project GLCL WLLS is BREATHTAKING. I've been playing it everyday... like a petulant child hungry for more.
Ignore my rants but definitely run and support this; they're way more important, elegant and
lovely than what I have to say. If you must read on do so in full knowledge that it's completely separate from their amazingness.
GLCL WLLS// Thieves of Love // 2015
My mantra at the moment is FUCK IT ALL. Bad baby is back and she's got no time for any of you stupid idiots (present audience excluded, of course). Words expelled and overheard in the last seven days.
In response to someone I'm interacting with when they refused to tell me the name of a restaurant they were eating at besides, "a good one".
Me: It's a good thing you didn't tell me which one since I have a dismembered rabbit with your name on it.
Him: Did you bite the head off your vibrator in frustration?
Me: Yeah and shoved it up the anus of your rabbit for emphasis.
To
a staff member: "Listen here, little girl. You and your 24 years are
too young to tell me why you think my decisions are shit so take your illustrated life
chart and suck it."
Interrupting my boss when she said
there was a little bit of her in everyone: "But this isn't about you.
I'm not you. I'm me." at which her response was, "Calm down Crazy."
Overheard
in a grocery store, "Is he in therapy? He should be, he's soooo
sensitive. Like totally really sensitive. How do you EVEN deal?!". I may or may not have accidentally pushed back when she drunk fell against me.
In response to these new futuristic and bodacious headphones: As
futuristic as they may be, I prefer my ear shields and black curtains.
Sunglasses and headphones are my misanthropic way of saying, "Leave me [the fuck]
alone, World. This is my time and you're not [ever] welcome".
Update: As this post was being created, I received a call from my boss wherein we discussed for awhile today the situations that precipitated the above behavior. Turns out acting crazy actually gets you somewhere. Who fucking knew?
With that in mind, a lover I once knew and still adore epitomized a fabulous quote by Groucho Marx. I don’t care to belong to any club that will have me as a member"
My shadow, forever.. we live or die. Faris. This is something no one will understand and something I will never share. I would rather suppress everything, pretend it all and swallow my reality.
Jay Reatard // My Shadow // Blood Visions // 2006
Siouxsie & The Banshees // Slowdive // A Kiss in the Dreamhouse // 1982
O.M.D. // (Forever) Live or Die // The Pacific Age // 1986
I'm such a whiny asshole. Filming was fine and joy of joys, it's happening every week now. Maybe I'll develop Stockholm Syndrome and fall in love with my kidnapper.
Here's a tasty treat to make up for my shitty attitude. Enjoy with an actual treat. Booze, brownie or boner... kidnappee's choice.
Early tomorrow I have to be "camera ready" (as my boss demanded) to give a filmed biography of what I think about my job's subject to be used in marketing efforts and other american psycho endeavors. I'd rather not shower for days, roll around in manure or fecund bio-matter and scream at any onlookers in some sort of madwomen mystical tongued language than pander for the camera.
The whole time I just know I'll be inwardly screaming
Delta 5 while my eyes smile and lie. The lies not being the subject (which I actually have a profound love for) but
what the camera's filthy fingers are digging deeper into... that which is fucking mine and moreover, what transpires between me and my fellow humans.
Delta 5 // Mind Your Own Business // Now That You're Gone // 1979
And what does the camera see anyway? A disfigured soul searching for something
greater? Someone who connects with individuals every day on their journey to something whole and guides them along the way? No, cameras lie. It'll see exactly what they want it to see.
Not the truth.
Images: Unaccredited and open-sourced Unknown Contortionist 1940-1950s, Two Faced Composition Doll 1920s
Screeching halt; the mind is a fickle place. I'm consuming stories of women on solo journeys, across oceans, deserts, formidable landscapes that hurt the body and liberate the mind.
Tycho // Coastal Brake // Dive // 2011
The wanderlust is itching again except this time when I go, I want to be gone for good. Time to play chess with the Universe.
Tame Impala // Let it Happen // Currents // 2015 All this running around Trying to cover my shadow An ocean growing inside All the others seem shallow All this running around Bearing down on my shoulders I can't fight it much longer Something's trying to get out And it's never been closer
I've figured out this week that secrets are something worth keeping. Something to hold close. These experiences that we have.... we have to let them happen.
Baio // Sister of Pearl // 2015
This song perpetually breaks/haunts/ loves me. I tell no one, but
you. It's amazing. All you lovers of The Vampire Weekend, breathe
deeply because something has just hit your face and it's way better.
I've great love for Nick Cave and many other twisted and creepy thoughts. I'm told I've been too dark and need to be more sunshiny. This post is my attempt. How did I do?
