Friday, October 30, 2015

You're A Loony

This week and Monty Python's Black Knight have a lot in common.  "Come back, I'll bite your legs off!"

So after two sleepless nights in a row, I'm gorging on my forbidden love and kryptonite for the second time in nine months.  Iced coffee, that is.  Look out Friday, trouble's coming and by trouble I mean me.   Taking bets on when the crash occurs.

Until then... good feels for all.

ELO // Shine a Little Love // Discovery // 1979

I'm going crazy
Majical Cloudz // Downtown // Are You Alone? // October 2015

Monday, October 26, 2015

Woman Flowers & Easy Sausages

A rare photo of my actual life.  Feast your eyes on some weird awkward poetry I made on my friend's fridge and that she actually kept.  These phrases crack me up and I forgot about them until I saw them the other day.  Today is a day dedicated to basic retro vagina music.  Woman flowers, easy sausages and walking in fire.  Listen in order.

 Fiona Apple // Criminal // Tidal // 1996  

Heaven help me
For the way I am
Save me from
These evil deeds
Before I get them done
I know tomorrow brings
The consequence at hand
But I keep living this day like
The next will never come 

K's Choice // Not an Addict // Paradise in Me // 1996

The deeper you stick it in your vein
The deeper the thoughts, there's no more pain
I'm in heaven, I'm a god
I'm everywhere, I feel so hot

It's not a habit, it's cool, I feel alive
If you don't have it you're on the other side
I'm not an addict (maybe that's a lie)

It's over now, I'm cold, alone
I'm just a person on my own
Nothing means a thing to me

This version melts me because of the very subtle difference in lyrics (below).  They morph the song in a very powerful and serpentine way. Patti Smith's version is soul shattering, because she's just a phenomenal human being and because she brings a tender, strong yet controlled passion to the Wild Call.  You listen to it enough and you're undone.  Natalie Merchant's version, with her characteristic warble, shifts the tone to one of uncertainty and beckons you further into something darker, more sinister.   The whole dynamic changes. Listen to them both and see if you agree.

10,000 Maniacs // Because the Night // Bruce Springsteen & Patti Smith // 1978 by way of MTV Unplugged 1993

Take me now baby here as I am
Pull me close, try and understand
Desire is hunger is the fire I breathe
Love is a banquet on which we feed

Come on now try and understand
The way I feel under your command (Patti's version "when I'm in your hands")
Take my hand come undercover
They can't hurt you now

With love we sleep, with doubt the vicious circle turns, and burns
Without you, I cannot live, forgive the yearning burning
I believe it's hard, too real to feel, take me now (original version "touch me now")

Sunday, October 25, 2015

Take My Darkest Feeling

I'm in utter awe I've never openly posted about M83 and The Jesus and Mary Chain.  Totally idiotic since I've loved them ridiculously close for far too long.  Closer than any lover.  What I'm discovering is that with this blog, with life; I hold things/songs/bands/ close to me, afraid to share.

Holding things close, like secrets, is bullshit.  That ends now. 

And I am flying 

M83 // Run Into Flowers // Dead Cities, Red Seas & Lost Ghosts // 2003

Over there, and I want true love to grow
My Bloody Valentine // Sometimes // Loveless // 1991

I would shed my skin for you
The Jesus and Mary Chain // Happy When it Rains // Darklands // 1987

Thursday, October 22, 2015

Someone Stole My Head

Misanthropy is real and with that in mind, I'm not winning any friends this week.  But before all that, take a listen to the most beautiful track below.  Everything Martin and Victoria of Gliss (bandcamp) create is perfection.  Here, here and here as well as their website plus many other instances on various soundtrack platforms on the interwebs as well as all those glorious analog fossils I've created that are floating around.  Did I mention how much I LOVE LOVE LOVE them?? Get used to it.  Your life is better with them.

This latest solo track from the lovely Victoria is no exception and her video for her single Thieves of Love  for her solo project GLCL WLLS  is BREATHTAKING.   I've been playing it everyday... like a petulant child hungry for more.

Stay in touch here for now.

Ignore my rants but definitely run and support this; they're way more important, elegant and lovely than what I have to say.  If you must read on do so in full knowledge that it's completely separate from their amazingness.

GLCL WLLS// Thieves of Love // 2015

My mantra at the moment is FUCK IT ALL. Bad baby is back and she's got no time for any of you stupid idiots (present audience excluded, of course).  Words expelled and overheard in the last seven days.

In response to someone I'm interacting with when they refused to tell me the name of a restaurant they were eating at besides, "a good one".
Me: It's a good thing you didn't tell me which one since I have a dismembered rabbit with your name on it.
Him: Did you bite the head off your vibrator in frustration?
Me:  Yeah and shoved it up the anus of your rabbit for emphasis.

To a staff member:  "Listen here, little girl.  You and your 24 years are too young to tell me why you think my decisions are shit so take your illustrated life chart and suck it."

Interrupting my boss when she said there was a little bit of her in everyone: "But this isn't about you.  I'm not you.  I'm me." at which her response was, "Calm down Crazy."

Overheard in a grocery store, "Is he in therapy?  He should be, he's soooo sensitive.  Like totally really sensitive.  How do you EVEN deal?!".  I may or may not have accidentally pushed back when she drunk fell against me.

In response to these new futuristic and bodacious headphones:   As futuristic as they may be, I prefer my ear shields and black curtains. Sunglasses and headphones are my misanthropic way of saying, "Leave me [the fuck] alone, World. This is my time and you're not [ever] welcome".

Update: As this post was being created, I received a call from my boss wherein we discussed for awhile today the situations that precipitated the above behavior.  Turns out acting crazy actually gets you somewhere.  Who fucking knew?  

With that in mind, a lover I once knew and still adore epitomized a fabulous quote by Groucho Marx.  
 I don’t care to belong to any club that will have me as a member"


Tuesday, October 20, 2015

My Shadow, You Make Me Want To Cry

My shadow, forever.. we live or die.  Faris.   This is something no one will understand and something I will never share.  I would rather suppress everything, pretend it all and swallow my reality.

Jay Reatard // My Shadow // Blood Visions // 2006

Siouxsie & The Banshees // Slowdive // A Kiss in the Dreamhouse // 1982

O.M.D. // (Forever) Live or Die // The Pacific Age // 1986

Wednesday, October 14, 2015

Night & Day

I'm such a whiny asshole.  Filming was fine and joy of joys, it's happening every week now.   Maybe I'll develop Stockholm Syndrome and fall in love with my kidnapper.

Here's a tasty treat to make up for my shitty attitude.  Enjoy with an actual treat.  Booze, brownie or boner... kidnappee's choice.

Pearl Charles // Pearl Charles // 2015

Tuesday, October 13, 2015

Can I Lick The Crumbs From Your Table?

Early tomorrow I have to be "camera ready" (as my boss demanded) to give a filmed biography of what I think about my job's subject to be used in marketing efforts and other american psycho endeavors.  I'd rather not shower for days, roll around in manure or fecund bio-matter and scream at any onlookers in some sort of madwomen mystical tongued language than pander for the camera.

The whole time I just know I'll be inwardly screaming Delta 5 while my eyes smile and lie.  The lies not being the subject (which I actually have a profound love for) but what the camera's filthy fingers are digging deeper into... that which is fucking mine and moreover, what transpires between me and my fellow humans.

Delta 5 // Mind Your Own Business // Now That You're Gone // 1979

And what does the camera see anyway?  A disfigured soul searching for something greater?  Someone who connects with individuals every day on their journey to something whole and guides them along the way?  No, cameras lie.  It'll see exactly what they want it to see.  Not the truth.

Images:  Unaccredited and open-sourced
Unknown Contortionist 1940-1950s, Two Faced Composition Doll 1920s

Monday, October 12, 2015


Images: Uncredited and open sourced

Sunday, October 11, 2015

Will Brake for Coasts & Ghosts

Screeching halt; the mind is a fickle place.  I'm consuming stories of women on solo journeys, across oceans, deserts, formidable landscapes that hurt the body and liberate the mind.

Tycho // Coastal Brake // Dive // 2011

The wanderlust is itching again except this time when I go, I want to be gone for good.  Time to play chess with the Universe.

Image: Julian Mandel Sans Titre, Paris 1933

Friday, October 9, 2015

Dragged Along

Okay, my heart breaks all the time.  It's a drag but let it happen.

Holy Ghost! // Okay // Dynamics // 2013

Oh the pope has appeal, it doesn't need to feel real
Even though I know the blood is thick
It's okay
No I'm not gonna take it

Day Wave //  Drag // Headcase // 2015

I don't want to be a drag
It'll just make you mad 

Tame Impala //  Let it Happen  // Currents // 2015

All this running around
Trying to cover my shadow
An ocean growing inside
All the others seem shallow
All this running around
Bearing down on my shoulders

I can't fight it much longer
Something's trying to get out
And it's never been closer

I've figured out this week that secrets are something worth keeping.  Something to hold close.  These experiences that we have.... we have to let them happen.


Baio //  Sister of Pearl  // 2015

 This song perpetually breaks/haunts/ loves me.  I tell no one, but you.  It's amazing.   All you lovers of The Vampire Weekend, breathe deeply because something has just hit your face and it's way better.

I've great love for Nick Cave and many other twisted and creepy thoughts.  I'm told I've been too dark and need to be more sunshiny.  This post is my attempt.   How did I do?
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