Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Make It Roar At Me.. And I Roar Back

Tonight Gypsy and I discussed that Love, the love that brings us to the brink of destruction.  The love that tempts us to break down all boundaries, all expectations, all worries... the energy that consumes, that Will that drives you to willfully push all your desire ALL OVER ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING THAT STANDS IN YOUR WAY.

We explored how this desire is inherently erotic and sexual, destructive and constructive and how it is fundamentally different from our Lovers... those who either are Scorpio or who have predominant Scorpio in their charts.  She is Aries, so fiery, direct and Of The Moment and we touched upon how she is learning to embrace her hidden emotional needs.  I love her for this.  I am of this nature too... in my own quieter sneaky ways.  When she loves, she loves like a fire volcano... and this understanding rumbles deep within this fire heart.  Fire can burn everything, it can consume everything it touches leaving nothing but a scarred barren landscape with nothing left to grow.  This is an energy I've led with for a very long time.  Dormant versus fiery volcano.

As a wanton Fire Heart, my desire is to learn how to transcend that my Force is an energy of Love, Acceptance, Adoration without crossing wires with Overbearing, Controlling, Ignorance.  Teaching Gypsy tonight [and myself] that subtlety, gentleness, tenderness and openness weigh more than overabundance brought me to a place of humility and vulnerability.  When I bend, when I cry with my Lover... when the walls dissolve and my tears flow forth... all my needs are met.  She embraces and absorbs my pain and I am wide open, cradling her beautiful heart within my ribs.  Eroticism is more than bodies, breath and limbs. When she exhales her miraculous breath, I taste divinity and discover solace is a place, known and named. 

How humbling my relationship to Bjork has been through this incredible transcendent love affair, I cannot express in this post, though I've shared more Bjork songs with my Mandala Lover more so than any other person.  Bjork has been my voice for so long, my solace.. sharing her is a very personal thing.  I can say that in this moment, I am beyond appreciative that I'm no longer Violently Happy... I am anchored.  Which is why these two songs now have an honored immortal place in my Sequential Favorites playlist.   

This morning my Lover came to meet me while this song played in the background and we met with such a passion, I kissed her with all that I am.  With all I feel, with all I can give through the movements of strings and vocalities - I give to her... she is the most precious gift.

She is l'eau de ma vie... the water of my life. 

 I live by the ocean
and during the night

I dive into it
down to the bottom
underneath all currents
and drop my anchor

and this is where I'm staying

This is my home

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