Up before the sun, that's my new normal. I well remember the many slides into sunrise from the other side. For so long, I've longed to turn The Devil upright into The Lovers. No one said in order to step into the light, I'd have to sever The Darkness. Walk away from the pit that holds all the zings. I can do it with a broken heart has never hit harder these days. Receiving acknowledgment and appreciation for my skills and achievements is so foreign, I don't believe it and definitely don't put my trust in it but something surprising is happening. In choosing me, this me, not the conjoined me.... my public life is undergoing some sort of renaissance. Yesterday, I was flooded with appreciative recognition. My friend said, are you able to hold your own head up right? Actually yes. No more feigned humility or deprecation beyond the joke "I don't know that I'm wise... even a broken clock is right twice a day".
Earned after years and years and years of the upside down, pulling myself upright, soul muscles straining and bleeding... twisting the inverse through tenacity, intuition and some days sheer will.... I am wise. And learning every day that my own instincts and perspectives are not only en pointe but also help those around me to ascend into the light with me. There's joy and power in that even while I carry my own storms and darkness within. So maybe I am still conjoined but this time balance might just be the twinkling light I see sometimes in the distance. Along with a healthy dose of fuck off if you don't understand the magic I weave. I can't have it all but actually? Realizing that I wouldn't want to.
The compass is pointing west more and more and Glitterfox is the soundtrack.
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