Cazimi

Most won't know why today is so important... like tens of millennia of human history important but I'm just one human body experiencing consciousness in one lifetime so here's my passion. The fire is stoked, the serpent awake and if you're still second guessing and flim flamming, you've missed the mark and I don't need or want it (or you) in my life.  

Did you hear the metaphorical clock strike? I did. A resounding gong in my chest at five in the morning, reminding me that That was Then and This is Now. Not a line in the sand, but a new timeline entirely.  

I'm disgusted with sycophants, narcissists, indecisive idiots, blind consumers who still think that a credit score, mortgage and buying power will make them happy and selfish emotionally unavailable egomaniacs who take no accountability for their actions ever. 

No more kind understanding compassion.  Listen, I reflect back as much as you give me and lately, that ain't shit.  So fuck off. *rubs feral hands together. 

For fuck's sake Genevieve, the longest preamble ever, Child Seat's cover of Tears For Fears Shout has been on repeat for months and holy hell, Madeleine Matthews vocal's are seriously the vitamin we all need. 

 

Child Seat - Shout (Tears for Fears Cover)

They Don't Speak For Us

What words can I offer in this timeline?  Nothing flowery or solipsistic here.  It's a shit time, (like so many timelines etched in history).  Harrowing for soft ones, thinkers and those poor souls crushed by industry, greed and patriarchy.  

If you need force to make it successful, it's the wrong path.  The collective yearns for matriarchy, community, connection and harmony.  

Or perhaps more on the nose, a quiet life, a pretty house, a pretty garden and no surprises please.

Juliana Chahayed - No Surprises (Radiohead cover)

This is why I liked the clock app before private equity and government contracts forced their greedy fingers into something that was pure humanity, pure collective.  This artist showed up one day last year as a suggested video and their cover of this song immediately gripped me. The delicate intimacy of the vintage telephone, the familiar warm and scratchy vocal sound.  It brings me back to a place of quiet and secure conversation with a trusted friend.  This closeness is missing with all the digital shit.  

I'm not alone. At the time of this post, the YT video alone has 5.2 million views.  Point made but then again, if you're reading this blog, you're already this song's target audience. 

Doing Poet's Work

Two spirit... ensnared between timelines.  What a time for the compassionate lover hearts... sometimes I feel such envy for those who can compartmentalize, rationalize and detach from the emotional currents of being.  Unfortunately, I land more on the Feist end of the spectrum.

Bizarre, how hard some strive to obtain it all forgetting we come into this life with nothing but our memories and experiences and, if we're lucky, leave with only a few more precious connections and experiences than we began.  Just to love and live the uniqueness of consciousness through a shared language.  Perhaps I chose poorly but never did my ambitions extend beyond living a poet's life.  

Well, that's not entirely true.  I still really want to learn how to successfully fry an egg in a stainless steel pan without it sticking.  And maybe a language or two.  And visit more places. Share more beauty. Create more. And heal my raggedly sore, fiercely soft dreamer's soul.  But really that's all.  wink

 

Tomora - Come Closer 

Aurora's wail is a sleeper bullet, nestling deeply into the hidden tender tissue inside my chest.

Destroyer - Tinseltown Swimming in Blood

Shocking that I've never shared this one before... it's been a long time favorite... another lyrical autobiographical gem 

I couldn't see, I was blind 

Off in the corner doing poet's work, that's alright for now

It was just a dream

Now let me tell you about the dream

I had no feeling, I had no past 

I was the Arctic, I was the vast

Spaces without reprieve

I was the dreamer, watch me leave 

The Butcher's Plate

That's the thing about obsessions and addictions; they're really only interesting to the addict. A penultimate muse but a closed system, those heady cycles within dizzying cycles. I accepted the invitations but gave up playing hostess to be a mere guest at the most consuming story of my life with its powerful buffet of delights and horrors. Embraced the vortex and fed on the poison for years, discovering depraved facets of myself I never knew myself capable of being.  It is time to relinquish the story, return it to The Fates and let others taste its venom.  It never belonged to me anyway.

I can hear them, these other voices, other muses clamoring for attention. They scratch at the door and whisper in a forgotten third floor attic. At first glance, perhaps not as unfathomable or inspiring in depth but they might make me a more interesting person in the end.  How would I know? I've never really given them much of a glance. So alright, I concede... begrudgingly and acknowledge I was only ever fighting with myself. 

I was crooning along with Low Lays the Devil but then as my easy listening Saturday took on a life of its own clutched The Veils ever more tightly and here we are.  Finn Andrew's / The Veils lyrics resonate with my deep places.... this dark and sweet little code.  

But I threw in some other devilish delights to tickle your palate.

 

The Veils - Total Depravity 

I try to look away and I fail 

 

 

Peter Murphy - The Line Between The Devil's Teeth (And That Which Cannot Be Repeat)  - live 1992

 

Pulp - The Mark of the Devil + Interview (excerpt from documentary Sheffield 84/85)

i let it all burn

The audacious irony sometimes... Ole Poe said it well, I was never insane, except upon occasion when my heart was touched.  Strange powers indeed, these tricky cosmos. Because I can never do something halfway, I tore my cornea so completely so that I've been unable to see for a couple of weeks all whilst our planets wreak havoc in the form of eclipses.  Bear with me but how utterly laughable that the first eclipse shows us what's broken and the second shows us how to repair it.  

I lost the plot and then I was unable to see clearly so then I had look inward to truly see.  Believe me, I get it now.  To leave behind an outdated narrative and embrace the creation of a new... to say what needs to be said is a gift but the stinging irony is not lost.

Anyhow... here are some songs I've been enjoying. 

 

The Smiths - Barbarism Begins At Home (live)

 

Rainbow Kitten Surprise - It's Called Freefall

 

Blood Cultures - Set It On Fire

 

Lykke Li - Lucky Again 

Fifteen years since Wounded Rhymes was released. That album had me in such a chokehold... I drowned in it fully.

 

Chain of Flowers - Glimmers of Joy 

I really adore this one; it's one of those tracks that makes me feel most like myself.

The Iron Curtain

I wrote this some months back and forgot to post it.  How right and true I was. 

The Iron Curtain met The Little Boy Who Likes to be Bad. A chink in the carefully constructed armor and here we are.  Some revelations can't be explained, only experienced.   The squishy zingy shock, it really was never about me and yet it was always about me.  

False intimacy doesn't interest me, I value the real.  Cheeky mischief afoot but I dance on the waves and kiss the ashes into the wind.  

Mood Rings - The Line

Tonight's the night you broke the line.

I'm not surprised you broke the line.

The Soft Moon - When It's Over

Choir Boy - Happy to Be Bad

 

Be Forest - Lost Boy