Sunday, December 5, 2010

The Most Tender Place

 It's unavoidable, the holiday season is upon us.  Are you ready for it?  I'm not yet sure if I am, for whatever reason at this time of year I reflect upon certain experiences and persons, as I'm sure many do.  I ponder lost loves, family members and opportunities and perhaps it's a bit of a cliche but sometimes I dread the landslide of memories.

When I was younger, I thought  people who regret were people who, for whatever reason, could not  appreciate the moment regardless of its positive or negative associations.  Wild, reckless frivolity or staid, comfort. In my folly, it, seemed like the "older people" were wasting their time looking back.  Imagine my own surprise and subsequent chagrin that I, too, could harbor such thoughts.  Someone once said to me, we only have regrets because we aren't living honest lives.  Regrets are things that we cling to because we know we should have chosen differently.

Immer gerade aus.  Smart words.

Neko Case - Hold On, Hold On

The most tender place in my heart is for strangers
I know it's unkind but my own blood is much too dangerous
Hangin' round the ceiling half the time

Compared to some I've been around
But I really tried so hard
That echo chorus lied to me with its
"Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on"

In the end I was the mean girl
Or somebody's in-between girl
Now it's the devil I love
And that's as funny as real love

I leave the party at three a.m.
Alone, thank God
With a valium from the bride
It's the devil I love

And that's as funny as real love
And that's as real as true love


Anonymous said...

Strange that the holidays (though Hallmark tells us to be thankful and loving and joyful) seem to put everyone on empty--an anxious place when you're in the middle of traffic and can't exit for a gas station. That fragility of hovering on E triggers the kick-up from the bottom of our gas tanks into a storm of goo that fills our engines with the stuff that we keep putting new gasoline on top of. But what's great is that all tanks have crud at the bottom--if they didn't, then it just wouldn't have any mileage. Here's to continuing on the open road with all of our parts and pieces, whether our motor is shaky or not. I'd bet we go real far this time around.

Genevieve said...

Thank you Anon, your imagery is beautiful and I believe you've accurately surmised what my dithering could not. Maybe we should try some metaphysical Chevron fuel, it supposedly cleans out the crud.

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